Bringing a second child into the world soon after the first can be both a thrilling and challenging experience. For parents facing the joys and trials of having two children under two, the journey is filled with unique moments of growth, love, and learning. In an interview with a Main Line mom, who welcomed her second daughter just over a year and a half after her first, we explore her personal experiences and insights. She shares why having two under two is worth every moment, the biggest challenges she faced, and practical tips for managing daily routines with two young children.

Q: Why is two under two worth it?

I had my first daughter in June of 2021 and my second daughter in January of 2023. When we first found out we were expecting our second, I had a hard time imagining how I could ever love another child the same way I did my firstborn. But it really is true what they say, your heart doesn’t divide it just grows. I am completely in awe of these two amazing girls of mine. And though having two under two can be absolute insanity at times—I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s not all crazy though. There’s truly something to be said about having two children in similar life phases. No doubt about it, it’s tough at the beginning finding your groove—but when you do, and trust me you will, life just doubles in joy.

Q: What was the biggest challenge you faced having two young children so close in age?

Physical exhaustion and sleep deprivation aside, the biggest challenge for me, was the guilt that came along with becoming a family of 4. I still remember coming home from the hospital and feeling so guilty for turning my firstborn’s life upside down—especially when she was at an age in which she still needed a lot of my attention. No longer were our days spent just the two of us–all of my focus on her—but now I was navigating this world in which I was balancing my attention and affection between two children. There’s no way of sugar coating it, It was tough when they both needed me, especially when all you wanted to do was make sure each of them felt loved and secure. But the part I was not expecting, was the shock I felt when I realized my firstborn no longer seemed so small, especially as I held her newborn sister in my arms. I found myself grieving my firstborn’s babyhood—as now a full blown toddler stood before me. 

But just like the guilt I felt for my toddler, I felt it for my newborn daughter too. There were days that felt like all I did was drag her along to toddler play groups, dance classes, and library activities. Long gone were the days of fully embracing the newborn bubble like I was able to do with my firstborn daughter. I found myself feeling guilty that I wasn’t able to give her as much individualized attention as I did with my oldest. But maybe thats why it felt so special when I was finally able to get those one-on-one moments with her, I found myself cherishing that time together.

As I’ve emerged on the other side, I can say that the guilt definitely eases with time. The sooner I accepted the fact that this season of life was not going to look the same as I imagined—that chaos and messiness can still exist within this beautiful journey—the sooner I was able to give myself grace. I had to quickly accept the fact that there were going to be aspects of life as a mother of two that were never going to look like my life as a mother of one—and that was okay! 

Q: How do you manage daily routines such as feeding, naps, and bedtime?

Let me start off by telling you, that there is nothing worse than a toddler bursting into the room right as you finally get your newborn to doze off—and in case you were wondering, toddlers are incapable of whispering—in fact they may actually become louder the quieter you want them to be—but I digress.

My saving grace, for scenarios like this were pre-planned activities. This was a new concept for me, when I had been a mother of one we had a lot more flexibility and spontaneity in our schedule, but now I found myself trying to juggle life with a rambunctious toddler while still trying to establish some sort of routine with my newborn daughter. Having sensory bins and special activities prepared for my toddler to be used during those moments in which I needed to be able to put the baby down for a nap or needed a moment to breastfeed, was an absolute must. 

And as for baby wearing, well that just becomes second nature. Their will be many moments in which baby will not let you put them down, despite needing two hands to prepare meals, get things done around the house, or tend to your toddlers many needs. And though I wish I could give you all the tips and tricks, the reality of the situation is that you will quickly find what works best for you and your family—making those moments of chaos a little more manageable. 

Q: What advice would you give to parents who are expecting their second child soon after their first?

My biggest piece of advice is to be gentle with yourself. It’s going to be tough, and there will be days when you feel like you’re just surviving, but that’s okay. Try to find small moments of joy and celebrate them. it’s okay if things don’t go perfectly. On some of the toughest days I reminded myself of the poem “Two Little Shadows” by Barbara Burrows:

I saw a young mother
With eyes full of laughter
And two little shadows
Came following after.

Wherever she moved,
They were always right there
Holding onto her skirts, 
Hanging onto her chair.
Before her, behind her—
An adhesive pair. 

“Don’t you ever get weary
As, day after day, 
your two little tagalongs
Get in your way?”

She smiled as she shook
Her pretty young head, 
And I’ll always remember
The words that she said.

“It’s good to have shadows
That run when you run, 
That laugh when you’re happy
And hum when you hum—
For you only have shadows.
When your life’s filled with sun.”

So in those hardest moments, may you always be reminded of the sun that fills your life. You’ve got this!

Images courtesy of Sophia Grace Photography